 Advocate.com | DC Board Rejects Ballot Initiative on Gay Marriage Christian Post The DC Board of Elections and Ethics ruled Tuesday not to take same-sex marriage to the ballot for a vote by the ... Gay couples blast federal Defense of Marriage Act Who Do We Have to Blow to Get Gay Marriage in New York? DC Board of Elections declares no popular vote on gay marriage rights |
 MiamiHerald.com | DC staff to revive nation's oldest gay newspaper MiamiHerald.com AP WASHINGTON -- The staff of the now-shuttered Washington Blade plans to publish a revived edition this week, investigating who killed the gay weekly ... Gay weekly Washington Blade closes Defunct Gay Newspaper's Staffers To Start Their Own Leading Gay Newspapers Shut Down |
 CBC.ca | Gay couple win right to wed in Argentina ABC Online Alejandro Freyre and Jose Maria Di Bello have been granted a marriage licence in Buenos Aires after a judge ruled that a ban on same-sex ... Argentine Gay Couple Granted Marriage License Gay couple to marry in Argentina Marriage license granted to gay couple in Argentina |
MiamiHerald.com | Gay newspapers closures Examiner.com The largest publisher of LGBT newspapers in the United States has files bankruptcy and closed all of te newspapers it controls. The Atlanta, GA based Window ... A sad day for LGBT media: Washington Blade, Southern Voice reportedly shuttered Nation's Largest LGBT Publisher Folds nation's oldest LGBT paper ceases publication |
Frank hears it from LGBT activists Socialist Worker Online Mark Clinton and James Fiorentino report from a Massachusetts demonstration to show Barney Frank the LGBT rights movement is angry at his contemptuous ... |
Whitehouse speaks to LGBT Rhode Islanders EDGE Boston Sheldon Whitehouse met with LGBT Rhode Islanders on Nov. 12 to discuss gay rights issues. Whitehouse, 54, is a former Rhode Island Attorney General who ... |
Puerto Rican Gay Teen Dismembered, Equality Forum calls for investigation Windy City Times Equality Forum is a national and international GLBT civil rights organization with an educational focus. Equality Forum coordinates GLBT History Month, ... |
MiamiHerald.com | Plans, Concerns, Questions Arise from Death of Washington Blade Towleroad (blog) I've always been curious about why GLBT mags can't keep their ledgers out of the red. They're chock-full of ads (for meds and pot, unfortunately) and I ... Media News |
Prop. 8 repeal petitions begin circulation Bay Windows The 2010 repeal campaign is a grassroots effort that does not have support from large GLBT groups, many of which have said or suggested they want to wait ... |
Below is an excerpt from Barbara Meltz's advice column concerning a mother who has a gender-variant child:
Q: Please help. When my daughter was 2 years old she told me she wanted to be a boy. Everyone told me she would grow out of this. She has always played with both boy and girl toys. Wears clothing both boy and girl. She is fascinated with batman and superman. She is now 5. She refuses to wear pink or anything girly. She says that is for girls and she is a boy. She is in kindergarten and tells the other kids she is a boy. Her father is absent. She has a few positive male role models in her life. My father and 2 brothers. When she plays with my niece she is so rough and aggressive and truly has characteristics that resemble the behavior of a little boy. She told me over the course of 6 weeks about a little girl who is in the 2nd grade and is in her after school program. Now... she tells me she "like likes her." The other little girl draws her pictures gives her things and my daughter always tells me she is beautiful etc. I am teaching my child socially this is this and that is that "but if that's how you feel, I love you no matter what." My question is ..... For the best interest of my daughter's psychological well-being, how do I handle this gender issue, of her wanting to be a boy, when she is a girl and only 5 years old?
A: It is possible that your daughter has something that's called gender identify disorder. She fits some of the descriptions (dressing like the opposite sex, expressing desire to be the opposite sex, refusing to identify with her gender). And yes, research indicates this can surface in early childhood. (For a scholarly & historical look at the issue, click here.)
As best as I can determine, the consensus is that it's too soon to begin counseling but certainly that is something that your daughter will benefit from down the road. In the meantime, the best that you can do as her mother is love her unconditionally; model your tolerance for differences of all kinds; and include people of all kinds in her world, including people of diverse races, religions, and sexual orientation.
At this age, children notice differences but are not put off by them unless they pick up messages, subtle and not so subtle, that the differences are wrong or bad. So I'm guessing that, so far, she has not run into peers who are troubled by her insistence that she is a he. That may change within a few years. Establishing a foundation now where she knowse knows that (a) she can talk to you about anything; (b) that you will not pass judgment; and (c) that you will give her accurate, age-appropriate information will mean that as she gets older, she will feel supported and not isolated. The good news is that our culture has a much broader tolerance for sexual differences today than it ever has in the past.
In the meantime, help her develop positive self-esteem by allowing her to develop her individual interests and strengths rather than pushing or imposing typical girl interests onto her. She only wants to wear rough-and-tumble boys' clothes? Fine; find some that fit her well. Help her to identify playmates who like to do what she likes to do, whether they are boys or girls (ask the teacher for suggestions). And always be in touch with the teacher so that you can be on top of any social issues that surface; that's something I tell every parent. If you have a close enough relationship with other parents or teachers and you want to share your thoughts with them, also fine. But I don't feel that that's necessary in and of itself.
Q: Please help. When my daughter was 2 years old she told me she wanted to be a boy. Everyone told me she would grow out of this. She has always played with both boy and girl toys. Wears clothing both boy and girl. She is fascinated with batman and superman. She is now 5. She refuses to wear pink or anything girly. She says that is for girls and she is a boy. She is in kindergarten and tells the other kids she is a boy. Her father is absent. She has a few positive male role models in her life. My father and 2 brothers. When she plays with my niece she is so rough and aggressive and truly has characteristics that resemble the behavior of a little boy. She told me over the course of 6 weeks about a little girl who is in the 2nd grade and is in her after school program. Now... she tells me she "like likes her." The other little girl draws her pictures gives her things and my daughter always tells me she is beautiful etc. I am teaching my child socially this is this and that is that "but if that's how you feel, I love you no matter what." My question is ..... For the best interest of my daughter's psychological well-being, how do I handle this gender issue, of her wanting to be a boy, when she is a girl and only 5 years old?
A: It is possible that your daughter has something that's called gender identify disorder. She fits some of the descriptions (dressing like the opposite sex, expressing desire to be the opposite sex, refusing to identify with her gender). And yes, research indicates this can surface in early childhood. (For a scholarly & historical look at the issue, click here.)
As best as I can determine, the consensus is that it's too soon to begin counseling but certainly that is something that your daughter will benefit from down the road. In the meantime, the best that you can do as her mother is love her unconditionally; model your tolerance for differences of all kinds; and include people of all kinds in her world, including people of diverse races, religions, and sexual orientation.
At this age, children notice differences but are not put off by them unless they pick up messages, subtle and not so subtle, that the differences are wrong or bad. So I'm guessing that, so far, she has not run into peers who are troubled by her insistence that she is a he. That may change within a few years. Establishing a foundation now where she knowse knows that (a) she can talk to you about anything; (b) that you will not pass judgment; and (c) that you will give her accurate, age-appropriate information will mean that as she gets older, she will feel supported and not isolated. The good news is that our culture has a much broader tolerance for sexual differences today than it ever has in the past.
In the meantime, help her develop positive self-esteem by allowing her to develop her individual interests and strengths rather than pushing or imposing typical girl interests onto her. She only wants to wear rough-and-tumble boys' clothes? Fine; find some that fit her well. Help her to identify playmates who like to do what she likes to do, whether they are boys or girls (ask the teacher for suggestions). And always be in touch with the teacher so that you can be on top of any social issues that surface; that's something I tell every parent. If you have a close enough relationship with other parents or teachers and you want to share your thoughts with them, also fine. But I don't feel that that's necessary in and of itself.
LZ Granderson is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com. He is the 2009 Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation award winner for online journalism and the 2008 National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association winner for column writing. He was named one of the top 25 public speakers of 2009 by Campus Pride, a national nonprofit organization seeking a "safer college environment" for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. Below is a column he wrote in response to the recent vote in Maine that overturned marriage equality.
I'm a single father of a 12-year-old boy who every five minutes seem to switch personalities on me.
One moment he's a starving student athlete hungry enough to eat a cow, the next he's a picky vegan.
I'm told by people much smarter than me that this is normal for a child going through puberty. And so, while I am not an overly religious man, I have found myself meditating on I Corinthians 13:4 to help me get through. Love is patient, love is kind.
I believe there is something each of us can pull from that Bible verse. We may not agree on spirituality or the existence of God, but we can agree that love is one of the most beautiful and mysterious forces. When I'm frustrated with my son, or a friend or even myself, I try to think about the characteristics of love described in I Corinthians before reacting. Be patient. Be kind.
I felt the need to lean on that verse last week after yet another ballot defeat for marriage equality -- when voters in Maine repealed a state law allowing same-sex couples to marry.
A visceral wave of anger swept over me as once again I was reminded of my second-class citizenship. I wanted to smash something. I wanted to punch somebodyomebody out. I wanted revenge. The last thing on my mind was I Corinthians. But at the very core of the debate over marriage equality is that scripture's concept of love.
It's easy to love someone when there is no turmoil, no conflict. And it's no accident that "patient" is the first word Corinthians uses to describe love -- it's first because it is most important. No matter how strongly we may feel about each other, we will not always agree, and it is in those moments that we must tap into the mystery of love even more to find a way to first be patient, and then be kind.
That is true in marriage and in parenting. And it's true in this much-accepted notion that we should love our fellow man. I'm not suggesting the gay community should not be upset -- patient and kind does not mean complacent and apathetic.
We must continue pressuring politicians to end civil injustice, but we're not served if we allow hate and fear to dictate our words. We cannot begin to change the nation's mind if we cannot first speak to the nation's heart.
With the economy and the swine flu and the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, it seems that everywhere there is a reason to hate and to fear. But I agree with my buddy Dierks Bentley, who sings in his song "Beautiful World":
"There's tears and there's fears and there's losses and crosses to bear;
And sometimes the best we can do is just to whisper a prayer;
Then press on because;
There's so much to live for and so much to love."
That might seem Pollyanna-ish, but the truth is that even if President Obama signed a law today to make all forms of discrimination based upon sexual orientation illegal, it would hardly mark the end of the gay rights movement.
After all, true social change isn't revolutionary -- it's evolutionary. That means we will have to continue our forbearance with those who oppose us -- from the black pastor who preaches that gay people should not be allowed to marry, to the white, closeted politician so afraid of losing his position that he would vote to oppress his own community. Through all of that, we will still have to find a way to love.
Many gay rights activists like to draw parallels between the gay community's struggles and those of blacks during the civil rights movement. It's not uncommon to hear them echo the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
"I have a dream..."
But as the frustration of the gay community grows, it is important that we -- and our allies -- do not forget another of Dr. King's powerful quotes:
"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him."
In other words, hate the sin but love the sinner.
It may seem weird to think in those terms because many well-meaning Christians also like to use that last phrase to justify oppressing gay people at the polls. But here's what's curious: The quote is from Mahatma Gandhi, a Hindu who said it in reference to his own people's oppressors, who happened to be Christians. This undoubtedly inspired another one of Gandhi's famous quotes: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians."
You don't have to like either in order to have love in your heart.
I'm a single father of a 12-year-old boy who every five minutes seem to switch personalities on me.
One moment he's a starving student athlete hungry enough to eat a cow, the next he's a picky vegan.
I'm told by people much smarter than me that this is normal for a child going through puberty. And so, while I am not an overly religious man, I have found myself meditating on I Corinthians 13:4 to help me get through. Love is patient, love is kind.
I believe there is something each of us can pull from that Bible verse. We may not agree on spirituality or the existence of God, but we can agree that love is one of the most beautiful and mysterious forces. When I'm frustrated with my son, or a friend or even myself, I try to think about the characteristics of love described in I Corinthians before reacting. Be patient. Be kind.
I felt the need to lean on that verse last week after yet another ballot defeat for marriage equality -- when voters in Maine repealed a state law allowing same-sex couples to marry.
A visceral wave of anger swept over me as once again I was reminded of my second-class citizenship. I wanted to smash something. I wanted to punch somebodyomebody out. I wanted revenge. The last thing on my mind was I Corinthians. But at the very core of the debate over marriage equality is that scripture's concept of love.
It's easy to love someone when there is no turmoil, no conflict. And it's no accident that "patient" is the first word Corinthians uses to describe love -- it's first because it is most important. No matter how strongly we may feel about each other, we will not always agree, and it is in those moments that we must tap into the mystery of love even more to find a way to first be patient, and then be kind.
That is true in marriage and in parenting. And it's true in this much-accepted notion that we should love our fellow man. I'm not suggesting the gay community should not be upset -- patient and kind does not mean complacent and apathetic.
We must continue pressuring politicians to end civil injustice, but we're not served if we allow hate and fear to dictate our words. We cannot begin to change the nation's mind if we cannot first speak to the nation's heart.
With the economy and the swine flu and the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, it seems that everywhere there is a reason to hate and to fear. But I agree with my buddy Dierks Bentley, who sings in his song "Beautiful World":
"There's tears and there's fears and there's losses and crosses to bear;
And sometimes the best we can do is just to whisper a prayer;
Then press on because;
There's so much to live for and so much to love."
That might seem Pollyanna-ish, but the truth is that even if President Obama signed a law today to make all forms of discrimination based upon sexual orientation illegal, it would hardly mark the end of the gay rights movement.
After all, true social change isn't revolutionary -- it's evolutionary. That means we will have to continue our forbearance with those who oppose us -- from the black pastor who preaches that gay people should not be allowed to marry, to the white, closeted politician so afraid of losing his position that he would vote to oppress his own community. Through all of that, we will still have to find a way to love.
Many gay rights activists like to draw parallels between the gay community's struggles and those of blacks during the civil rights movement. It's not uncommon to hear them echo the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
"I have a dream..."
But as the frustration of the gay community grows, it is important that we -- and our allies -- do not forget another of Dr. King's powerful quotes:
"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him."
In other words, hate the sin but love the sinner.
It may seem weird to think in those terms because many well-meaning Christians also like to use that last phrase to justify oppressing gay people at the polls. But here's what's curious: The quote is from Mahatma Gandhi, a Hindu who said it in reference to his own people's oppressors, who happened to be Christians. This undoubtedly inspired another one of Gandhi's famous quotes: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians."
You don't have to like either in order to have love in your heart.
From yesterday's Washington Post [free subscription required]:
The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.
Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.
Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.
"If the city requires this, we can't do it," Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, said Wednesday. "The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that's really a problem."
Several D.C. Council members said the Catholic Church is trying to erode the city's long-standing laws protecting gay men and lesbians from discrimination.
Catholic Charities, the church's social services arm, is one of dozens of nonprofit organizations that partner with the District. It serves 68,000 people in the city, including the one-third of Washington's homeless people who go to city-owned shelters managed by the church. City leaders said the church is not the dominant provider of any particular social service, but the church pointed out that it supplements funding for city programs with $10 million from its own coffers.
"All of those services will be adversely impacted if the exemption language remains so narrow," Jane G. Belford, chancellor of the Washington Archdiocese, wrote to the council this week.
The church's influence seems limited. In separate interviews Wednesday, council member Mary M. Cheh (D-Ward 3) referred to the church as "somewhat childish." Another council member, David A. Catania (I-At Large), said he would rather end the city's relationship with the church than give in to its demands.
"They don't represent, in my mind, an indispensable component of our social services infrastructure," said Catania, the sponsor of the same-sex marriage bill and the chairman of the Health Committee.
Catania, who said he has been the biggest supporter of Catholic Charities on the council, said he is baffled by the church's stance. From 2006 through 2008, Catania said, Catholic Charities received about $8.2 million in city contracts, as well as several hundred thousand dollars' worth this year through his committee.
"If they find living under our laws so oppressive that they can no longer take city resources, the city will have to find an alternative partner to step in to fill the shoes," Catania said. He also said Catholic Charities was involved in only six of the 102 city-sponsored adoptions last year.
Terry Lynch, head of the Downtown Cluster of Congregations, said he did not know of now of any other group in the city that was making such a threat.
"I've not seen any spillover into programming. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen if [the bill] passes," he said.
To read the full article, click here.
The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.
Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.
Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.
"If the city requires this, we can't do it," Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, said Wednesday. "The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that's really a problem."
Several D.C. Council members said the Catholic Church is trying to erode the city's long-standing laws protecting gay men and lesbians from discrimination.
Catholic Charities, the church's social services arm, is one of dozens of nonprofit organizations that partner with the District. It serves 68,000 people in the city, including the one-third of Washington's homeless people who go to city-owned shelters managed by the church. City leaders said the church is not the dominant provider of any particular social service, but the church pointed out that it supplements funding for city programs with $10 million from its own coffers.
"All of those services will be adversely impacted if the exemption language remains so narrow," Jane G. Belford, chancellor of the Washington Archdiocese, wrote to the council this week.
The church's influence seems limited. In separate interviews Wednesday, council member Mary M. Cheh (D-Ward 3) referred to the church as "somewhat childish." Another council member, David A. Catania (I-At Large), said he would rather end the city's relationship with the church than give in to its demands.
"They don't represent, in my mind, an indispensable component of our social services infrastructure," said Catania, the sponsor of the same-sex marriage bill and the chairman of the Health Committee.
Catania, who said he has been the biggest supporter of Catholic Charities on the council, said he is baffled by the church's stance. From 2006 through 2008, Catania said, Catholic Charities received about $8.2 million in city contracts, as well as several hundred thousand dollars' worth this year through his committee.
"If they find living under our laws so oppressive that they can no longer take city resources, the city will have to find an alternative partner to step in to fill the shoes," Catania said. He also said Catholic Charities was involved in only six of the 102 city-sponsored adoptions last year.
Terry Lynch, head of the Downtown Cluster of Congregations, said he did not know of now of any other group in the city that was making such a threat.
"I've not seen any spillover into programming. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen if [the bill] passes," he said.
To read the full article, click here.
- Sponsors -
Subscribe to Reader feed
Subscribe to daily Email
No comments:
Post a Comment